How to Get out of your Comfort Zone
‘Getting out of your comfort zone’ is an interesting analogy. It implies that you are leaving something behind and stepping into the abyss of the unknown. And sometimes, it really feels as if you are.
Let’s add some clarity to this.
What is a comfort zone?
A comfort zone is a place within, where you feel comfortable. It’s often referred to as a ‘zone’ as it’s an undesignated area within and around you, much like an aura. Your comfort zone is a part of you, so it can never be left behind anywhere. And it’s there to give you a feeling of safety and comfort.
Believe it or not, if you’re feeling low, depressed or overwhelmed, then a comfort zone is a place you gravitate towards. It’s that feeling of homeliness and belonging within. So, why would you ever want to ‘get out of it’?
For the same reason that you want to leave home when you’re a teen. So that you can expand your wings and experience the world. You know inwardly that ‘stepping out’ is the path to happiness and making dreams come true.
How is your Comfort Zone created?
As you learn new things in life and practice them, they become more familiar. This practice helps the new pattern become a part of your comfort zone.
Right from the beginning, experiences such as walking for the first time, going to kindergarten or daycare, then school, swimming lessons, riding a pushbike, high school, traveling overseas, public speaking, relationships etc. The list goes on and doesn’t ever stop.
All experiences, even the uncomfortable ones that are faced often enough, for better or for worse, eventually become familiar. These practiced traits then become a part of who you are. They’re incorporated into your comfort zone.
Everybody has a comfort zone and it includes both wanted and unwanted familiar patterns. For instance, if you’ve been abused as a child, the abuse can become comfortable as an adult too. In other words, you can actually seek out somebody to abuse you so that you feel comfortable. It’s not a consious choice because nobody would do that on purpose. It’s not even a happy choice, but it is familiar.
Stepping out of your comfort zone.
You never actually ‘step out’ of your comfort zone. This implies you step out of something unwanted like an old dressing gown and put on a new one. Because your comfort zone is a part of who you are, you can never step out of it. It just expands to accommodate your growth. We’ll show you how that works…
Imagine you are enclosed in a huge invisible elastic bubble that incorporates your whole body and as you put your hand out of this bubble, instead of bursting, it stretches around your hand.
Now imagine you have grown, you’ve become bigger in size. That bubble doesn’t tighten, it actually expands. With each choice you make you actually grow on the inside and your comfort zone is flexible enough to expand indefinitely.
Where the discomfort arises (if any) is when you make choices and move yourself into completely new territory rather than just dipping your toe in the water. You feel as though you’ve left home and you’re out on a limb. But you haven’t and you’re not. You’ve just lost that loving, supported feeling temporarily.
You can never leave your Comfort Zone behind
Because you take yourself with you wherever you go in every experience, you can never really leave your comfort zone. You’ll never be naked, lost or alone, but you may feel that way for awhile.
But this is a really vulnerable place to stand. It’s when you walk side by side with fear, and tend to regret decisions and make fearful choices. However, when you do find yourself seemingly on a ledge with fear at every turn, it isn’t your comfort zone that needs to change but your focus.
Why is Stepping out of your Comfort Zone Scary?
There are many reasons you may want to ‘step out’ of your comfort zone. For instance, if your relationships ae abusive, you may want to become uncomfortable to break the cycle. The scary part of thinking you’re going to be ‘stepping out’ of your comfort zone is associated with some sort of risk. This may be a loss of money, health or relationships. The real risk involved is always associated with some type of emotional pain, real or imagined.
You don’t want to:
- make the wrong decision
- put yourself in danger
- be humiliated
- feel unloved
It’s important to know that decisions aren’t right or wrong. You make a decision and then you back yourself, turning your focus to things that create the best mood you can muster on any subject. Focus on what feels good as fear does not make good decisions. Take care of your mood and tend to it regularly so that you can feel as good as you can as often as you can.
A Natural Expansion
Instead of thinking of your comfort zone as something you need to ‘step out’ of and then catch up, think of it as expanding around you. Just like a pool of water in the sand at the beach, it moves into the space provided for it. If you wanted to expand the pool of water, you would just expand and shape the hole and the water would flow into it, effortlessly.
Your comfort zone is named this for a reason. it’s both comfortable and familiar. Doing something new, or making decisions that are unknown, all tend to lean towards discomfort. That’s why there can be a feeling of ‘being outside’ your comfort zone. But there doesn’t have to be. Your comfort zone expands automatically.
How to Expand Effortlessly
Whatever you have a desire to do, be or have, dream it. Imagine it in detail. Formulate the details until it feels exciting and wonderful. Ponder it often, then take the action as the opportunities arise. Don’t force it. The action or opportunity might be to learn meditation and even though this may seem a long way from what you’ve imagined, just know that ALL roads lead to your dreams.
This is the path of least resistance and using this path will expand your comfort zone naturally. It will be exciting rather than fearful and by the time it becomes familiar, your comfort zone has expanded. These are the Secrets of Manifestation.
There will be times when your excitement is overshadowed by fear and therefore you feel out on a narrow ledge all on your own, so you imagine all the things that could go wrong.
But all you need do is:
- Acknowledge the fear,
- Remind yourself of that vision you had, how exciting it was and
- Why you want to do this,
and the fear will dissipate. You will need to do these 3 steps as often as necessary but it is a requirement, if you are looking to expand your comfort zone and find happiness and fulfillment. This is taking control of your own mood, it’s the key to effortless expansion and the path to your dreams.
Feeling the Urge to do Something New?
Expanding your comfort zone is a natural part of growth and growth is essential to life. So if you’re feeling the urge to do something new that makes you feel a little afraid, this is your inner expansion calling you forth. Instead of taking a giant leap just look for small steps forward. Each one of these steps moves the needle of your comfort zone. It’s when you look back that you can see how far you’ve come. Paralysing fear does not need to accompany the unknown, and small steps can change the way you experience your own expansion. This means you can become more familiar with the unknown and even feel comfortable.
In fact, experiencing the unknown is a milestone that actually helps you feel more comfortable. When you acknowledge that you’ve been in unknown situations and dealt with them in a way that’s worked for you, then you’ll feel more comfortable in different situations, no matter what they are.
Comfort Zones Make you Feel Safe
Everybody has a comfort zone and it is different for each person. There is no need to compare them because your comfort zone is customized for you. Feeling comfortable is a matter of personal perspective but we all want to feel safe in the decisions we make and that’s why, when you make a decision that you are unsure about, you feel unsteady. When this happens, the best thing you can do is tend to your mood with the 3 steps above.
You’ve just made a decision that is well outside your normal experience. And that’s ok, your job is to keep up with it by tending to your mood. Here’s a blog on ‘great’ decision-making.
You are constantly expanding your comfort zone and as you do, it changes who you are becoming. Like a sculptor creates out of clay, you too mold your life with the choices you make and the expansion you take. You can’t get it wrong. Because if you don’t like the discomfort just make another choice. You get to change the sculpture in any way you like or you can even wipe over the clay and start again.
This is your life and your choice. It’s time to take back your power and create what you want.
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Who am I?
I’m Gayle Maree, creator of 6 Dimensions of Healing, author, mother of 7 and Spiritual Counselor for over 23 years.
Someone once told me (a well-respected mentor) that people need “experts” to live a life they value… and I didn’t believe them.
I thought everybody could do it on their own because I did. I figured out what didn’t work in my life and then I changed it. Actually, I changed me. And it was a LOT of work!
Not because I was trying to impress those that told me I had a ‘bad attitude’ or I had something to prove to people who thought I was lousy at pretty well everything, but because there were aspects of me that even I didn’t like. I wanted improvements in me and my life.
Change Versus Comfort
It was obvious to me that if I didn’t make changes I could expect more of the same in my life as before. The same things that didn’t work, the same relationships that my parents had.
I wanted more. Mostly, I wanted my kids to be proud of me. Damn it, I wanted to be proud of myself.
So, I set about what would be a continuous, amazing journey.
I’ve been with my Spiritual Soulmate over 30 years now and we still work on the relationship, we work on improving us, because we know that whatever we want, to get it we need to be different to how we were.
And I listen so much more now because I value the wisdom of my non-physical guides who have been with me for as long as I can remember.
Now it’s your turn
This is the same path I used to make the changes that led to a valued and prosperous life. So much more than I ever imagined.
The path is laid out in our book 6 Dimensions of Healing