Embracing Failure like a Long Lost Friend

Embracing Failure like a Long Lost Friend

Embracing Failure like a Long Lost Friend

You know, I’ve been having some conversations with people about failure recently. Some of these people are in groups and others on sites I’m a member of. And one thing these conversations have in common is that the subject of failure seems to be divided. I’ll show you what I mean:

Which Statement about Failure do you Relate to:

  • On the one hand failure is something we were taught when we were younger; that if you failed it wasn’t a good thing. Nobody had to necessarily say that, we all felt the pain of failure. There was an unexpected ending of something and great loss or disappointment followed. Pain was associated with failure, whether it was failing an exam or even a sports tryout. When we failed we felt pain. Therefore we avoided it.
  • On the other hand, I’ve been listening to some amazing entrepreneurs like Jeff Walker, Tony Robbins, Dean Graziosi, Susan Garrett and quite a few others that see failure differently. They wear their failure like a badge of honor. Their belief is that if you haven’t failed then you haven’t grown.

Now I know this isn’t strictly true, because of course you can grow in life and in business in so many ways without calling it a failure, and they’re all worthwhile. But what if for a moment we took that perspective? That failure was something to be proud of. It meant we’d tried, we’re growing and moving forward.

Defining Failure is Important

Now it seems to me that these mega-successful entrepreneurs have come to successfully divide failing from becoming a failure. Which makes absolute sense because it’s only temporary. When you have a broken arm, you temporarily are incapacitated but you aren’t identified as a broken-armed person are you? You don’t see yourself that way and neither do others. Yet, when we fail, we often refer to ourselves as failures. So the differentiation between failing and failure is an important one.

When you know that temporary failures are a part of life, you can begin to incorporate them a little more into your life and your language. (Some people I’ve met won’t even use the term failure because they see it as too negative.) These experiences are helping you move forward. You didn’t give up walking because you kept falling down when you were a baby and neither should you give up on your dreams. Ever!

Failure Is a Fast Track to Success

Failure is just a word. It’s not a term or an infliction. It’s not a disease and nor is it contagious. Failure is a fast-track to success. It seems the more you fail, the bigger your success. Of course your family won’t understand this. But the reason people seem to have enormous success following periods of failure is that their success is proportionate. Failure has given them the knowledge and the tools to move in directions they couldn’t even see before.

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It opens their eyes to different opportunities, doors that once appeared closed and that’s what we call growth. Growth is inevitable and once you make peace with failure, you no longer fear it.

I now no longer mind using the word, because it’s worn with pride. I know that every failure or disappointment is bringing me closer to success. In fact, I don’t know one successful person who hasn’t experienced failure along the way, many times of all different sizes.

Embracing Failure is Freeing

You see, if you’ve failed it means you’ve made decisions. You’ve made choices and have experienced consequences. All the things you did when you were younger. The difference is that now you know that instead of it being because you were wrong, it’s because you wanted to experience life. Rather than debilitating, it’s in fact freeing.

I now no longer have pressure to get it right and I don’t have to choose ‘the best’ decision. I make a decision and then it leads me to the next and the next. And just like learning to ride a bicycle; I fall – sometimes. Do my decisions work – maybe. Do I achieve what I want, eventually. And do I get back up – absolutely.

Making peace with failure is one of the best decisions I’ve ever made and I challenge you to quickstart your success by doing the same. Give failure a big hug like a long lost friend and welcome it into your life with open arms. You’ll love the experience.

gayle maree

 

6D Mood Mastery Quickstart

Your inner path to consistent happiness.

If you haven't taken advantage of the 14 day  Mood Mastery Quickstart then it's your time to begin now. Take back control of your life and begin to create your habit of happiness.

This quickstart includes the PDF to your inner guidance, Mood Barometer and your Mood Map.

Continue your journey with

6 Dimensions of Healing – Handbook

6 dimensions of healing

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About Gayle Maree

Gayle overcame decades of limiting beliefs about success and money to live a life she had only dreamt about. She spends her time between USA and Australia (home to their 7 grown children and Natural Health Clinic) and conducts workshops all over the world with husband of 30 years, Allan; helping purpose-driven women like you, shed their old patterns and beliefs to manifest the happiness they truly deserve.

People are attracted to Gayle for the high energy, intuitive insights and deep wisdom; and for the powerful transformation they gain through 6D Mood Mastery.

Are you ready to transform your life?

Her key course is 6D Mood Mastery©, and 6 Foundations for a Successful Online Business©.

Gayle is a Spiritual Counselor, Mother, Entrepreneur and Eternal Optimist. She is co-author of 6 Dimensions of Healing©, author of 6 Foundations of a Successful Online Business©  and Habits of Happiness.

Her mission is to empower people to recognize their own inner guidance so they can take the path of happiness to manifest their dreams.

How to Handle Fear In All the Chaos

How to Handle Fear In All the Chaos

How to Handle Fear In All the Chaos

Fear is the New Pandemic

In these times of uncertainty, fear is rife. It’s as if our once easy-going community members have grown horns and turned into something we don’t recognize. These are certainly the worst of times for everyone. Yet most people will only get a mild case of COVID-19 and 98% will survive and thrive.

I’ve certainly never experienced a worldwide pandemonium such as this in my lifetime and I hope never to again. But it’s not the COVID-19 I’m talking about. The real pandemic is fear. Fear turns once rational human beings into weapons of unknown destruction, to themselves and others. Fear has been killing people for centuries.

Becoming A Spin-Doctor

You’re probably spending a lot of time at home now and even though you try not to watch the news, it’s difficult to avoid reports which display this fear; its viral on all streams of social media. Even friends and family have succumbed to the frenzy. It seems like it’s the only subject available right now.

So it’s up to you to become the spin-doctor and change the subject. If there are reports of airport closures, notice the ones that are open. If there are hospitals filling, introduce the ones in Wuhan that are being dismantled because they’re no longer needed. When this is the worse thing in the world, point out that pollution has dropped in countries that are no longer flying, such as China and Italy. Fear brings out the worst in people, but crises can bring out the very best in people.

Crises Can Bring Out The Best in People

The schools may be closed but many across the USA are using them as temporary kitchens to feed those in need. There is always an opportunity to shine in times of chaos. Why would you want to? Because it not only helps the people around you to feel better, but it will benefit you. It’s not other’s you need to change, because you can’t. You only need to get on top of your own fear and turn that fear in the direction of freedom.

Your life is never about what happens, it is and will always be about how you handle what happens. And if you find yourself in isolation, then it’s a wonderful time to develop new patterns. Ones that set you up for joy and success. I wrote an article recently on setting up your day so this is a great time to start. Your pattern of life has already been interrupted and it may never be the same again, so now is a great time to take up mindfulness, meditation, nature walks and all those things you put off previously. 

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The things that are good for your well-being, that cost nothing and help you connect to who you really are. It will uncover that valuable small space amongst the chaos.

Fear will always be a part of life

Fear will always be a part of humanity but we don’t have to let it stay like an old friend. Fear keeps company with uncertainty, isolation, depression, misunderstanding, and hopelessness. It brings out the worst of humanity and when we are in this space, all we can see is more of the same. It feels like it’s never going to end. It’s a little like standing in a deep hole and looking outward. All you’re going to see is more of the same hole.

Freedom is in the same space as love, hopefulness, encouragement, opportunity, inspiration, joy and appreciation. It’s the very best of humanity. When you stand in this space you feel sure and powerful and have much to give yourself, your family and everyone who connects with you. You become a beacon of light and inspiration.

The same situation is going on around you but you see it differently. Whenever there is the worst of times, there is also the best of times. The worst of times is shrouded in darkness and the best of times is presented when you wear the night vision goggles. Your night-vision goggles are the feelings of hope and encouragement.  We all have the opportunity to see the glass-half-empty or the glass as half-full. There is no right and wrong, it is our perception that makes it so.

Listening to your Inner Guidance

I remember traveling to see my parents just last year. They live 4 hours away. I was driving with my husband Allan and my 16-year-old son Jamieson. There was only one highway and mostly only one lane, so traffic is unpredictable. Teenagers never like getting up early but I insisted that we leave by 7 am that Friday morning. It was stuck in my head and so I made sure we did, despite Jamieson’s protests. Our trip was enjoyable and on the way back a few days later, we called into a country coffee shop. There on the counter was a local newspaper with the headlines. ‘Bruce Highway closed both ways for 6 hours after tanker crash’. The day it happened was the day we were traveling. It was Friday morning. The time of the accident was about 10 minutes after we had passed through that very location. Had we have left later we would have had a very long wait or we could have even been in the accident.

Learn to Read the Inner Signs

The moral of the story is that you can’t see the bigger picture. You don’t know what it is, so you need to be ready to read the signs. These are the inner signs and you can’t see them when you are standing in the darkness in fear. You need the night-vision goggles of hope and encouragement, to shed some light.

Below, the Mood Mastery Quickstart offers a PDF for you to understand your own inner signs. We call this your Mood Barometer as it’s your inner guidance system. Also included in the PDF is a Mood Map so you can plot your path from fear all the way to freedom.

gayle maree

By the way, you can begin to Master your Mood and become sensitive to your own fear by beginning the Mood Mastery Quickstart below. It’s understanding your own inner guidance system and makes the right choices so much easier. It’s the path from fear to freedom and includes your PDF of the Mood Barometer and Mood Map.

6D Mood Mastery Quickstart

Your inner path to consistent happiness.

If you haven't taken advantage of the 14 day  Mood Mastery Quickstart then it's your time to begin now. Take back control of your life and begin to create your habit of happiness.

This quickstart includes the PDF to your inner guidance, Mood Barometer and your Mood Map.

Continue your journey with

6 Dimensions of Healing – Handbook

6 dimensions of healing

Amazon Au    Barnes & Noble    Amazon US

About Gayle Maree

Gayle overcame decades of limiting beliefs about success and money to live a life she had only dreamt about. She spends her time between USA and Australia (home to their 7 grown children and Natural Health Clinic) and conducts workshops all over the world with husband of 30 years, Allan; helping purpose-driven women like you, shed their old patterns and beliefs to manifest the happiness they truly deserve.

People are attracted to Gayle for the high energy, intuitive insights and deep wisdom; and for the powerful transformation they gain through 6D Mood Mastery.

Are you ready to transform your life?

Her key course is 6D Mood Mastery©, and 6 Foundations for a Successful Online Business©.

Gayle is a Spiritual Counselor, Mother, Entrepreneur and Eternal Optimist. She is co-author of 6 Dimensions of Healing©, author of 6 Foundations of a Successful Online Business©  and Habits of Happiness.

Her mission is to empower people to recognize their own inner guidance so they can take the path of happiness to manifest their dreams.

The Power of a New Year’s Reflection

The Power of a New Year’s Reflection

It’s a little difficult to create New Year’s resolutions when you haven’t reflected on the year just gone. A New Year’s reflection is a powerful pattern to develop for the end of every year. It’s also imperative to the success of any New Year’s resolution.

Why Reflect on The Past?

It’s the past that is bulging with insights in the form of gems for moving forward. When we reflect on what has been, what we gained, where we fell short and what we loved, we are uncovering a plethora of nuggets which, when polished, will be used to shine a path towards the future.

Reflection is a part of moving forward. But not just the next step, the next step in a direction we want to go. Often we think we are moving in a direction we will love when we get there, only to find, years down the track that we indeed got a bit lost along the way. We aren’t where we want to be at all. I don’t want this to be you.

Using A Barometer To Guide Your Path

A New Year’s Reflection can act as a barometer to help us reassess and re-steer ourselves on the course we really want. The one which makes our heart sing.

This is an opportunity to press the reset button and make different decisions. Because when we slide from one year to the next, without taking time to assess the past, we can easily slide into more of the same. If that more of the same is joy and fun and wonderful abundance, then slide away. If it’s not, then some reflection can prevent the past from repeating itself.

Reflection not Regurgitation

This isn’t a time to blame ourselves for the things we’ve done wrong or that haven’t happened. Nor is it a time to regurgitate the past and why things didn’t go the way we wanted or whose fault it was. It isn’t a pity party. We want to reflect, not get stuck.

So there are 5 questions you can use to reflect on your year so that you can reassess and guide yourself on a new track for a brand new year.

  • What am I proud of in this last year? My successes and achievements.

  • What challenges did I overcome?

  • How did I grow?

  • What did I most appreciate during the past year?

  • What do I need to let go of and make peace with for this coming year?

Every Day Presses a Reset Button

Everyday begins anew. Each day we have the opportunity to begin again. We leave our emotions and moods behind every evening and the next morning we have a choice. Whether to pick up where we left off, or to choose something new.

New Year’s reflections are similar. Rather than the day before, it’s the year before. We get an opportunity to choose something new, or carry on right where we left off.

The magic of writing our reflections down is that we get to consolidate, right before our eyes and choose what we would prefer for the next year.

New Years Resolutions

Rather than a New Year’s Resolution, which seems to be a dirty word at the moment (mainly for those who don’t achieve them anyway), you have a written reflection. The New Year’s Day symbolizes letting go of the past and moving towards the future.

It’s not by chance. Joy, fun, love and abundance is never by chance but by design and a New Year’s Reflection is re-designing your future towards something truly wonderful.

 

 

About Gayle Maree

Gayle overcame decades of limiting beliefs about success and money to live a life she had only dreamt about. She spends her time between USA and Australia (home to their 7 grown children and Natural Health Clinic) and conducts workshops all over the world with husband of 30 years, Allan; helping purpose-driven women like you, shed their old patterns and beliefs to manifest the happiness they truly deserve.

People are attracted to Gayle for the high energy, intuitive insights and deep wisdom; and for the powerful transformation they gain through 6D Mood Mastery.

Are you ready to transform your life?

Her key course is 6D Mood Mastery©, and 6 Foundations for a Successful Online Business©.

Gayle is a Spiritual Counselor, Mother, Entrepreneur and Eternal Optimist. She is co-author of 6 Dimensions of Healing©, author of 6 Foundations of a Successful Online Business©  and Habits of Happiness.

Her mission is to empower people to recognize their own inner guidance so they can take the path of happiness to manifest their dreams.

Relationship Triangle – A Game of Triangles

Relationship Triangle – A Game of Triangles

A Game of Triangles may sound like a game show or a Television series and sometimes it can feel rather surreal when well entrenched. This Game of Triangles though, is a relationship triangle. This emotional game is one we have been playing longer than we can remember. We inherited the behavior from our parents and found our place within the family unit. You see, most family structures are very familiar with a relationship triangle.

What is a Relationship Triangle?

The triangle has three roles attached to the dynamic. We enter the triangle as a Victim, but play the roles of Caretaker/Rescuer or Perpetrator interchangeably. This triangle is about relationships because it can’t be played alone. Another is needed for the dynamic to be played out.

It works on dependency. When we feel like a victim, we look for a caretaker or rescuer. To become a victim in the first place, we must find a perpetrator. Sometimes these people are real, other times imagined (as in a scenario played out in our minds). People can feel victimised by a government that hasn’t actually done anything ‘to’ them but because they feel threatened, they take on the role of victim.

But today, I’m going to focus more on the relationships we have with others that are close to us.

When we feel threatened, we automatically enter the triangle as a victim, now looking to find some security through one who feels sorry for us. This validates our position. We feel justified in feeling like a victim. Enter stage right, the caretaker or rescuer. This is vastly different from a caregiver who takes care of a disabled person for instance. A caretaker is there to rescue a victim so that they can feel better about themselves. In a caretaker’s eyes, it’s important that a victim feel better, because when they do, the caretaker also feels better. It’s easy to imagine this role as one of mother and child, except we play these roles forever, even when we’re fully grown.

Disadvantages of A Relationship Triangle

I’ve found that people tend to gravitate towards a familiar role, but all of these roles are interchangeable and none will empower a person to create their very best reality.

All of the roles in a triangle are disempowering. We never truly stand in our own power when another is propping us up or telling us what to do. That’s because words don’t teach, we learn by our experiences and the experiences of others (such as role models and anti-role models). It is the choices we make from the experiences we live that make us feel empowered in our own lives. When others make these choices for us, or they don’t allow us to make our own, or they ridicule the ones we choose, that’s when we feel disempowered. Our being shrinks and our light fades. We lose our enthusiasm for life.

How Do We Stop Playing A Game of Triangles?

The relationship triangle is one that we tend to gravitate towards because it’s familiar. When we were young, it was a safe role to fit into within the family unit. For instance, if it made our father angry to speak up for ourselves when we were young, we adopted the role of victim and sometimes caretaker, when our mother was feeling victimised. When we’re feeling weak, it props us up. It feels like a safe place to go, temporarily. But we’ll never feel our Universal Strength and Guidance when we rely on others to feel good. The relationship triangle is a learned behavior and not a God-given one.

The only way out of the relationship triangle is by being conscious of playing the game. I refer to it as a game, as it’s necessary to find a rescuer when we’re feeling like a victim. A person will also work hard to create a perpetrator when they want to feel like a victim. And all this takes place automatically. So it makes sense, that if we want to exit the game, we need to be aware of when we’re playing.

There is much to say about this topic and we use it in our workshops as it’s easier to illustrate than to use words. So, the solution is: when we find ourselves feeling disempowered and looking for another to prop us up and validate our choice, recognise that mood and make a decision to do it differently.

You see, nobody can ever make us feel like a victim. The choice is always ours. That’s not to say it’s easy to change patterns. But, it’s like creating any new pattern. The key is awareness and choice. Over and over again.

Is it Worth Severing a Relationship Triangle?

Absolutely. Feeling reliant on another for our emotional well-being is never an empowering option. Until the game ceases by choice, there is no freedom within. It’s not a natural pattern, it’s an adopted one, so we can create another one that serves our higher good, any time we want.

For more information see p.144 – 6 Dimensions of Healing

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Relationship Triangle – A Game of Triangles

Role Model versus Anti-Role Model

Recently I was asked to write about something my parents taught me. I thought about that for a while and decided that they taught me they weren’t my best advocates. They weren’t my biggest fans. If I had an idea or opportunity, they weren’t the ones to cheer me on. It seems they weren’t a positive role model.

Role Model and Anti-Role Model

Now this may sound quite negative, but actually this is how all opportunities for growth begin.  We have role models and we have what I call anti-role models. The difference between the two is that a role model inspires you to be like them and an anti-role model deters you from being like them. Both are crucial to your development.

We see Role Models in our society as being pivotal to our success. They are the ones that lift us from mediocrity by inspiring something better that stirs within. However, inspiration comes when you are in a mood that is close enough to reach it. So, if you are feeling angry, discouraged or even overwhelmed (check out the Mood Map), you are not likely to be in the vicinity of inspiration.

However, when you feel this way, you are very aligned with an Anti-Role Model. Someone who will bring you back down to Earth with a thud by reminding you of your shortcomings. It’s the ones we are closest to that become the instigators for change. These are the people we have grown up with. We have a level of respect for them, whether a parent or a boss, a friend or work colleague. When they demean or diminish you, they are your anti-role models. They bring emphasis to something that needs changing.

Discern Who Shares Your Dreams

For instance, someone not believing in your dreams or your abilities. It did take many years of feeling sorry for myself to get over this unfortunately, but everything happens in it’s own time. Eventually I decided that I needed to believe in myself. It was a scary proposition because there was nobody to catch me when I fell.  No one to blame if it didn’t work out and nobody to talk it over with. But that wasn’t the end, it was only a stepping stone. It helped me look for strength and support. Not support from others but an inner connection. I found that when I felt good I was strong and felt supported. I began to discern who I could tell my ideas and share my dreams with and who I shouldn’t.

You see, dreams and ideas are fragile. They are in their infancy and need to be nurtured. It’s our job to protect them and give them the nourishment they need. In this case, their food is encouragement, excitement, enthusiasm, refinement. Share them only with people who will help nurture them. Keep them safe within until they are at a stage where they can no longer be contained. By then, they will be teenagers and want to test their environment. These dreams have been well fed and have now developed to a stage of believing in themselves. They still aren’t ready to take on the world but they are rapidly growing in strength. Let them grow.

It’s at this time your carefully nurtured dreams begin to develop momentum. As others are interested in what they’re about, more come and join their path. Likeminded people who help grow their journey.

Soon, the idea that was but an embryo is a full entity of its own.

Can One Person be both Role Model and Anti-Role Model

Mine all began with parents who pushed me away. Had they not have done this, I may still be looking for their approval. I might still be asking their permission and I may never have believed in myself. If that had happened, this idea could never have been birthed and the dream would not have become real.

Is it possible to have both role models and anti-role models in the same person? Yes it is. Because it’s often not the whole person you dislike, it’s the behavior. So a person can squash the hopes and dreams of a child (because they are afraid) and they can laugh and run and kick the ball with them, inspiring a close relationship.

How To Use Role Models

See your role models as providing patterns of behavior that you’d like to adopt. In that way, nobody has to live up to your expectations. Look for someone in your life that emulates the relationships you’d like and say to yourself “I’d like some of that”. Find someone different who parents in a way you admire and say “I’ll have some of that”. When you come across somebody who loves life, you can say “I’ll adopt some of that thank you”. In this way you are moving toward something you want, borrowing the best of humanity, rather than trying to push away something you don’t want.

You can never push against a thought hard enough for anything to leave your vibration because we live in an inclusive Universe. And that’s why clearing doesn’t work. The more attention you give something, the more you invite it in. So, by all means acknowledge your anti-role models and what you didn’t like. Gripe about what you’d rather not have picked up along the way and what you resent. Then, when you’re ready, build your bridge by using the inspiration of role models and walk over that bridge to something new and enjoyable. Imagine it, love it, immerse yourself in it and burn the bridge behind you.

Empower your Journey with

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New Year and New Beginnings

New Year and New Beginnings

Did you enter the New Year of 2019 with a big bang and a pocket full of intentions? You wouldn’t be on your own. Usually people set their New Year’s resolutions as a sort of wish list formed from past guilt.

For instance; the most common New Year resolutions are to get fit, lose weight, give up smoking or drinking and visit family more often. After a month or two, you berate yourself for not having followed through and after three months, you have forgotten all about having even made them.

That’s because they weren’t something you were committed to, they were just something you felt guilty about, so thought you should do. There’s a big difference between being feeling guilty and being committed.

Choose Something You Feel Passionate About

So for this New Year, I decided to let go of the resolutions altogether and my husband and I sat down on New Years Eve and made some commitments for the coming year ahead. Not very many. Actually there were only two. But these were something we felt passionate about, we could do together and felt excited to begin.

And that’s the secret to any resolution or commitment. The journey needs to feel inspired. It’s wonderful to feel motivated about the end result but it’s the journey that takes the longest time. So if you aren’t excited about the journey, you won’t even reach the destination.

We didn’t need to write down our roles. We’ve been together for 30 years now, so we know where each other’s strengths lie and Allan’s the ideas man, I’m the researcher and organiser and we both bring in different content. I’m the one who pulls it altogether and Allan will market the result. We respect what each other brings to the table and we both have our individual visions of how we want this to unravel.

This is the most excited I’ve felt about any resolutions in the past and I don’t feel any pressure from guilt to make this happen.

What are your New Year Commitments?

Do you know what you want to achieve this year? Did your resolutions support this goal? Or is it still a dream? (The Difference between a Dream, Goal and Desire) You will know when you are ready to move forward on your goals as you will feel excited about the next step and then the next.

But please don’t take action if you aren’t inspired to do so, as the road will be bumpy and difficult. This just means that you aren’t ready yet. If this is the case for you, then spend time pondering and imagining and refining the details of this dream until you do feel inspired to take action. Inevitably, when you do, the action will be more powerful, enjoyable and worth the wait.

Welcome to a brand New Year. A year of new beginnings, fun and laughter. If that’s what you want!

Oh and remember to pick up your copy of 6 Dimensions of Healing – Handbook here. It’s a new beginning to a new you.