7 Lies We Tell Ourselves About Our Own Happiness
7 Myths of Happiness
Deep within we have a need to be happy above all else, no matter what we’ve been through in the past. But do you ever feel like happiness is an elusive dream, forever out of reach? Do you find yourself caught in a cycle of self-doubt and negative thoughts that prevent you from truly embracing joy? If so, you’re not alone.
Many of us fall victim to the lies we tell ourselves about happiness, unwittingly sabotaging our own well-being. This is where we will explore seven common lies people believe about being happy, and reveal the truth that can truly set you free.
Happiness Lie 1: “I’ll Be Happy When I Achieve My Goals”
However, the reality is that happiness is not a destination, but a journey.
We often convince ourselves that we’ll finally experience true happiness once we accomplish a certain goal—a promotion, a new car, or a perfect relationship.
While it’s important to have aspirations, placing all our happiness on the outcome of these goals can lead to perpetual dissatisfaction. Happiness is not a finish line; it’s the little moments of joy we find along the way.
Embracing the process and celebrating small victories will bring us more fulfillment than any end goal ever could.
Happiness Lie 2: “I Need to Be Perfect to Be Happy”
On the contrary, imperfections are what make us beautifully human.
Society bombards us with unrealistic expectations, making us believe that happiness is only reserved for those who have flawless appearances, successful careers, or ideal lives. The truth is that perfection is an illusion and you and I will NEVER be perfect. But that doesn’t stop us from being perfectly happy.
Embracing our flaws and accepting ourselves just as we are allows us to cultivate genuine happiness. It’s in our imperfections that we find our true selves, connect with others on a deeper level, and create a life filled with joy and authenticity.
Happiness Lie 3: “My Happiness is Dependent on Others”
However, I’m sure you know that true happiness comes from within you. And it’s easy to believe that because you have to live and work with others that they can make your life happy or miserable. But there’s actually a lot you can do about this and it comes back to your own choices.
We often fall into the trap of seeking validation and happiness from external sources—whether it’s the approval of others, our achievements, or societal standards.
The reality is that relying on external factors for our happiness gives away our power and leaves us feeling empty and unfulfilled. True happiness begins with self-acceptance, self-love, and the recognition that our inner state of being is within our control. We get to choose because happiness is not a goal it’s a commitment we make each day.
When we nurture our own happiness, we become a source of light and positivity for others.
Happiness Lie 4: “I’m Doomed to Repeat Past Mistakes”
In truth, all our mistakes are stepping stones to growth and happiness.
We all make mistakes—big and small—and it’s easy to get trapped in a cycle of regret and self-blame. However, every mistake holds valuable lessons and opportunities for growth. So, instead of dwelling on past missteps, we can choose to find the nugget of gold and embrace them as catalysts for positive change.
By using our mistakes as insights, we gain wisdom, resilience, and the ability to make better choices in the future. And when we consciously use these insights to become a better person then we create new pathways and don’t repeat the past. Embracing our imperfections and using them as stepping stones on our journey to happiness is a powerful act of self-empowerment. And it’s a gift of conscious expansion.
Happiness Lie 5: “I’ll Be Happy When Others Change”
Yet, the only person we can ever truly change is ourselves.
It’s common to believe that our happiness hinges on the actions and behaviors of others. We often find ourselves waiting for someone else to change, another person to be happy or we seek their validation to feel happy in ourselves.
The truth is, we can’t control other people or their choices. The only person we have control over is ourselves and it’s our emotions that give us that control. Taking responsibility for our own happiness means focusing on our own growth, setting healthy boundaries, and surrounding ourselves with people who uplift and support us. It’s also about celebrating the little wins in life such as a change in attitude.
When we stop waiting for others to change first so that we can be happy and start focusing on our own well-being, true happiness becomes the next logical step.
Happiness Lie 6: “Happiness Means Never Feeling Sad”
However, embracing all emotions leads to a richer and more fulfilling life. And we don’t want you to feel like you’ve failed in the pursuit of happiness just because you’re not happy ALL the time. In fact, it’s not possible to be happy all the time as we need contrast to help us reach for more. As when we know what we don’t want then we have clarity on what we do want.
Society often perpetuates the idea that happiness is a constant state of bliss, free from any negative emotions. This unrealistic expectation leads us to suppress our feelings of sadness, anger, or fear, believing they are incompatible with happiness. And true friends accept you as you are, not just because you’re happy.
The truth is that a full and meaningful life encompasses a wide range of emotions. By embracing our emotions, even the difficult ones, we deepen our capacity for empathy, resilience, and personal growth. Happiness is not the absence of negative emotions; it’s the ability to navigate them with grace and come out stronger on the other side.
Happiness Lie 7: “Happiness Can Be Found in Material Possessions”
However, true happiness transcends the material realm.
In a world driven by consumerism, it’s easy to fall into the trap of believing that acquiring more possessions will bring us lasting happiness. We convince ourselves that the next big purchase—the latest gadget, designer clothing, luxurious car or winning the lottery—will fill the void within us.
But the truth is, material possessions can only provide temporary gratification. Happiness can’t be bought or measured by the number of possessions we accumulate. Otherwise, all wealthy people would be happy and all poor people would be unhappy. And that’s just too general to be correct. Instead, happiness stems from meaningful connections, experiences, and a sense of purpose and meaning that goes far beyond the superficiality of material wealth.
By chasing after material possessions in the pursuit of happiness, we become trapped in a never-ending cycle of desire and dissatisfaction. We may experience fleeting moments of excitement when we are in the process of acquiring something new, but these moments quickly fade, leaving us craving the next purchase to recapture that fleeting sense of happiness.
Have you experienced this deflated emotion as it doesn’t live up to the standard of the desire you once experienced? Because, in this perpetual cycle, we lose sight of what truly matters—the relationships we build, the memories we create, and the impact we make on the world.
Gaining Perspective on Happiness
True happiness lies in the intangible aspects of life—the love and support of family and friends, the joy of pursuing our passions, and the satisfaction that comes from making a difference in the lives of others. It’s the moments of laughter, shared experiences, and heartfelt connections that bring us lasting happiness. By shifting our focus from material possessions to cultivating meaningful relationships and experiences, we open ourselves up to a world of genuine fulfillment and contentment that lasts a lifetime.
Let go of the belief that material possessions hold the key to happiness. Instead, seek out experiences that nourish your soul, connect with people who bring you joy, and engage in activities that align with your values and passions. Embrace the beauty of simplicity and gratitude for what you already have. Find happiness in the small, everyday moments that often go unnoticed. It is within these moments that true happiness reveals itself.
Pursuit of Happiness
In the pursuit of happiness, we often unknowingly deceive ourselves with lies that keep us stuck in a state of discontentment. Such as I can only be happy with that “in love” feeling, not in a relationship. (True story!) By recognizing these falsehoods and embracing the truths discussed above, we can break free from the shackles of our own making and create a life filled with authentic happiness. Your path to true happiness begins within you.
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Who am I?
I’m Gayle Maree, creator of 6 Dimensions of Healing, author, mother, Past Life Therapist and Spiritual Counselor for over 23 years.
Someone once told me (a well-respected mentor) that people need “experts” to live a life they value… and I didn’t believe them.
I thought everybody could do it on their own because I did. I figured out what didn’t work in my life and then I changed it. Actually, I changed me. And it was a LOT of work!
Not because I was trying to impress those that told me I had a ‘bad attitude’ or I had something to prove to people who thought I was lousy at pretty well everything, but because there were aspects of me that even I didn’t like. I wanted improvements in me and my life.
Change Versus Comfort
It was obvious to me that if I didn’t make changes I could expect more of the same in my life as before. The same things that didn’t work, the same relationships that my parents had.
I wanted more. Mostly, I wanted my kids to be proud of me. Damn it, I wanted to be proud of myself.
So, I set about what would be a continuous, amazing journey.
I’ve been with my Spiritual Soulmate over 30 years now and we still work on the relationship, we work on improving us, because we know that whatever we want, to get it we need to be different to how we were.
And I listen so much more now because I value the wisdom of my non-physical guides who have been with me for as long as I can remember.
Now it’s your turn
This is the same path I used to make the changes that led to a valued and prosperous life. So much more than I ever imagined.
The path is laid out in our book 6 Dimensions of Healing