3 Steps Forward from Loneliness to Love
The Path from Loneliness to Love
All is not lost. There is a path from loneliness to love or aloneness to oneness.
What happens when you feel lost, alone or lonely? Or you feel that things just aren’t working out for you. A client told me that he revealed to a new friend that he just wanted to curl up and go to sleep and he didn’t care if he never woke up. Understandably the friend was horrified and said he should see somebody.
I saw it a little differently.
We all go through feeling low, lost or lonely at times. We all feel that things aren’t working out the way we want them to and we get to a low point. Like wanting to curl up and hoping the world swallows you whole and you just don’t wake up in the morning. Have you ever been through this? If you haven’t, you’re one of the few.
Why Loneliness Feels so Bad
This intense feeling of loneliness is your indicator of where you are emotionally on the mood scale. I’m sure you knew that. But did you know that you feel the pain of loneliness because it’s such a long way from where your Higher Self is standing?
Your inner soul guidance is the eternal optimist and always takes the highest perspective on every subject. It’s always calling you in the direction of your dreams, towards what you want and what’s best for you. But often, you’re still back there in that loneliness, consumed and yet not wanting to be there, but nowhere even close to love.
Communication with Your Higher Self
The pain you’re feeling is communication going on between your higher self and you. Because if you felt good about being lonely then you wouldn’t move forward. But because you don’t and there’s pain involved, really deep emotional tugging, then you want to move from this place and the only direction that feels better is up. From loneliness to love. (Just maybe not in one step.)
Similarly to when you stretch a rubber band as far as it can go, there is tension the further it stretches, and to release that tension you need to let it go rather than pulling tighter. Of course, that’s obvious with the elastic band but human emotions are actually no different to this.
This tightness or stress you’re experiencing is excellent communication between your Higher Self and your physical self. Your higher self has already moved to where you want to be and yet, you’re holding yourself apart from that which is love. So there’s tension and pain, either emotional, physical or both. The only thing that will relieve this tension is by releasing the resistance. Moving your emotions in the direction of your soul guidance.
You know when you’re moving in the direction of your soul guidance by how you feel. The better you feel, the less tension you have and so you know that you’re moving in harmony with your higher self.
Loneliness isn’t about not having a partner
Why do people feel lonely? Is it just because they don’t have somebody special in their lives? In fact, we all feel lonely at times, and it’s often when something doesn’t work out the way we want it to. It’s not because a certain somebody isn’t in our lives, it’s because we don’t feel loved. This means that we’ve lost our connection. The connection to our soul guidance or higher self, and when this happens we feel lonely and very alone.
Moving from loneliness to love, means reconnecting with your purpose and meaning. To re-establish your connection with that which is love. Another person can never fill you up in this way. Without your inner connection there will always be a void.
So what’s the solution?
Well, there were two more things this client needed to know before he could move from loneliness to love.
1. Firstly, I had a vision that he was focused on the past.
That was all I could see.
He confirmed that there were thoughts of the past that were regurgitated without consent. He realized while we were talking that he used others as his excuse for things not working properly in his life. He blamed friends for not staying around and people for his life not working. In fact, there was a whole string of people to blame, set out like a Netflix series, just ready to watch on-demand.
2. The second part was self-sabotage.
He was talking himself into things that weren’t good for him and talking himself out of things that were good for him. Have you ever done that? Not consciously of course. I know I have. For instance, he was justifying that meditation didn’t work and so why bother to do it? Yet, he knew that when he had been regularly meditating, things in his life worked out better. Life was more fun, it was easier and had more meaning.
This is called self-sabotage.
I asked when was a time that things were working for him.
That was easy. He knew that when he began his day with meditation that things went better. Life flowed a little more and he was generally happier.
Retraining your Mind from Loneliness to Love
I wasn’t surprised as my day always begins with meditation and I really notice when it hasn’t. Beginning the day with meditation is not only good for relaxation, but it retrains the mind and introduces some discipline. Why does the mind need discipline? Because, either you control your mind or it controls you. Just as a tennis player needs to practice to become better, so too do we all need to practice thought discipline.
But with meditation, after you’ve practiced the skill for a while, something triggers in your brain with just beginning. It sends off series of responses so that the meditation will entrain your mind to move into an altered, alert and higher vibrational state. It’s almost as if your mind gets excited at the prospect of meditating.
The 3 Steps from Loneliness to Love
1. Regular focused meditation is the first step in a solution from loneliness to love.
But we added a couple of extra safeguards to make sure he definitely had a great day. We did that with intentions. Two types.
After the meditation, he was to
2. Set his intentions.
3. Plus a programming intention to take 5 deep breaths at any time and return instantly to this great feeling meditative state.
Our mind and body respond well to instructions and often we don’t give them enough.
When you are in a relaxed alpha state as you are after meditation, your mind is susceptible to suggestions and suggesting that it feel great under certain conditions, is one that it loves to accept. The program was to put a hand on your heart, take 5 deep breaths and expect to be feeling as great as you did at the end of the meditation.
Step 1 – Meditation
Step 2 – Intention to have a great day
Step 3 – Program intentions
So now you know that if you ever feel low or lonely, it’s not necessarily that you’re sick or mentally ill. The mood you’re recognizing is natural communication from your Higher Self that signals a turning point for something truly wonderful. This means, instead of resigning yourself to the fact that this is how your life is, notice the tension and ask yourself what your Inner Guidance is telling you.
Focusing on the Future & Not the Past
By the way, if you don’t want the past to take up a dominant part of the real estate in your mind, then you’ll need to find an alternative focus. And the best way to occupy wandering thoughts is with thoughts of an amazing future. And since your mind doesn’t know the difference between what’s real and what’s imagined then imagining a future that you would be proud to occupy is the key.
Just as JK Rowling created Hogwarts in her mind, so too can you imagine your future 5 years or more down the track. You can add a white owl, notice the car you’re flying and the people you’re sharing it with. Just as JK Rowling did, you really want to bring your vision to life. No it doesn’t have to be a Hogwarts. Your creation may not become an International best seller, but it will be something that you’ll love to visit, a place where you’re excited to be and an ideal vacation for wandering thoughts.
No matter where you are standing now, you can move from loneliness to love simply and easily by using the 3 steps above. Aloneness to oneness is a progression and practicing the steps will help you to live a happy, fulfilled life.
These steps are about consciously creating your Reality. Its empowering, fun and changes the direction of your future. So give it a go.
Get your FREE Dreams, Goals & Desires Playbook here. Dare to follow your dreams to live a full, loving and happy life.
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Who am I?
I’m Gayle Maree, creator of 6 Dimensions of Healing, author, mother, Past Life Therapist and Spiritual Counselor for over 23 years.
Someone once told me (a well-respected mentor) that people need “experts” to live a life they value… and I didn’t believe them.
I thought everybody could do it on their own because I did. I figured out what didn’t work in my life and then I changed it. Actually, I changed me. And it was a LOT of work!
Not because I was trying to impress those that told me I had a ‘bad attitude’ or I had something to prove to people who thought I was lousy at pretty well everything, but because there were aspects of me that even I didn’t like. I wanted improvements in me and my life.
Change Versus Comfort
It was obvious to me that if I didn’t make changes I could expect more of the same in my life as before. The same things that didn’t work, the same relationships that my parents had.
I wanted more. Mostly, I wanted my kids to be proud of me. Damn it, I wanted to be proud of myself.
So, I set about what would be a continuous, amazing journey.
I’ve been with my Spiritual Soulmate over 30 years now and we still work on the relationship, we work on improving us, because we know that whatever we want, to get it we need to be different to how we were.
And I listen so much more now because I value the wisdom of my non-physical guides who have been with me for as long as I can remember.
Now it’s your turn
This is the same path I used to make the changes that led to a valued and prosperous life. So much more than I ever imagined.
The path is laid out in our book 6 Dimensions of Healing