It makes you feel good to help people. When someone is in need and you have the ability to fulfil that need, innately you feel good when that happens.
Feeling good because of helping, physically increases the endorphins, the body’s natural happy hormones secreted within the brain and nervous system. This is the balanced form of giving.
When you talk about people helping each other, rarely do the same people help each other in reciprocity. More often you will help someone and will be helped by someone different.
Unconditional giving is important to your physiological functions. Most people place conditions upon their giving, which means that when they help someone they expect something in return, even if that is just gratitude. A simple thank you. And if it doesn’t happen, the opposite effect occurs. Rather than the healthy endorphins from the joy of giving, resentment eats away at the body and causes discouragement, an unhappy mood and an unhealthy body.
People are in our lives to give us the opportunity to help one another. Not because they have the need for us to help, but because we have the desire to feel good.
Giving Is Different To Helping
Giving is different to helping. Most people ‘help’ because it makes them feel uncomfortable to see others in that situation. Sometimes help is welcome and many times, as you have found, it isn’t. That’s usually because the person you think needs help, doesn’t think that they do. And that’s an important differentiation.
Help is best given when it is asked for. For instance the drunk in the gutter will resent you for helping him when he is ok with having this drunk experience. He isn’t uncomfortable, it’s the one who’s looking on that is. When he becomes ready to move on, he will ask for help. So help is often given at the wrong time. Not for the person receiving but for the one making the judgment. You don’t get to decide when someone is ready to receive.
Attitude of Giving
Giving is completely different. It is an attitude. To create this Attitude of Giving, you first need to feel good. In fact, the better you feel, the more you want to give. The reason for this is that you want to share your joy with the world. It’s not a burden, it’s not draining, in fact it’s the opposite. And the only people you will give to, are the ones who are willing to receive. How do you know who is willing to receive? They will be the ones around you. You don’t need to go looking as you will automatically attract people willing to receive when you are in an attitude of giving.
Family is much more difficult to practice any new patterns on. They press your buttons because they created them. Instead, leave family out of the equation as when they are willing to receive, they will find someone who is happy to give and it probably won’t be family.
Make Giving Automatic
When you practice thinking yourself into a mood of enthusiasm and excitement, giving will be automatic, even if it is just an uplifting statement. Use the 12 Habits Happy People Develop, then see how that lifts your mood more and more. It’s really the secret (if there is one) to manifesting a life of joy.
Gayle Maree is Life Engineer, Counselor, Mother, Entrepreneur and Eternal Optimist.
She runs a healing centre Stewart Natural Health, in Australia with her husband and Natural Therapist Allan Herring and has over 20 years of Personal Development Coaching behind her.
Gayle is Director and creator of 6 Dimensions of Healing, and designs bridges for people to build to get themselves from where they are now to where they want to be. Her book 6 Dimensions of Healing – Handbook is available now.