Have you ever found yourself in a situation where blame is controlling your life?
Most of us blame others for things that happen in our lives that aren’t to our liking. It starts off feeling powerful but soon loses it’s impetus. Blame is tiring and doesn’t feel good. The emotional drain and long term effects are not good for your health or well-being, not to mention peace of mind.
That’s because, when you blame someone for something that has happened, you no longer feel in control. It’s as if you’ve handed power of the situation over to someone else. That can be both demoralizing and disempowering.
Blame Is Disempowering
Feeling disempowered is the lowest mood you can experience on your mood scale. It is lower than anger and is right down there with depression. It’s not a mood you would want to reside in as there is nothing that you want from life, that is a match with disempowerment.
Sometimes it may seem as though others are to blame for a situation or emotion you are involved in. People may even agree, but nobody else is to blame for how you feel. Contrary to popular belief, nobody can make you feel anything. You are the one that gets to choose what story you tell. You are the only one that gets to choose how you feel. Feeling like a victim is always a choice.
Blaming others is rather like watching a movie in slow motion.
- You can feel yourself get all wound up because you know what is coming;
- Even though it has nothing to do with you, you come out firing;
- Whether it’s loudly or softly, to yourself or for others’ benefit, blame still has an impact in your life.
Creating More Blame
The knock-on effect is that when you feel blame, you create more blame in your life. It may be difficult to believe, but just feeling blame is enough to ignite more similar situations to feel blame about.
You see, when you want something from someone you ask them. Well, when you ask the Universe for something, you don’t ask with your words but with your emotions. So when you are in a blame mood, you are requesting the Universe for more of the same as what you already have.
The Universe will deliver to you, very swiftly by the law of attraction postal service, more of what you are emotionally experiencing. Not because it is trying to test you, but because you asked for it. The Universe does not discern whether what you’re asking for is good for you or not, it just delivers. Quite promptly. In fact, 68 seconds is enough time to expect more of the same thoughts.
When you receive more situations to blame people for, you will just say “See I told you”, but what’s actually happened is you’ve created a self fulfilling prophecy.
Blame Is A No-Win Situation
There is no win-win situation with blame. You just feel bad. Annoyed, irritable and angry. You’re not alone. Sometimes we all go there. You just don’t want to stay in that mood for long as the side effects of attracting more blame situations and people not wanting to be around you, can make life lonely.
When you find yourself in that debilitating situation, then blame away. Because you will anyway, until you’ve had enough. You may even want to spend time justifying how right you are and how wrong someone else is. It isn’t until you stop blaming, though, that you can take your power back.
When you want to move on, just acknowledge where you are and notice what you want. How do you want to feel? What mood would you like to adopt? Then look for something, anything to interrupt the pattern you have created. Any thought that gives you relief, turns you in the direction of your bliss.
You’ve Got This
It Takes 21 Days To Establish A New Pattern. Choose to look for things that are working in your life and do it for 21 days!
Get your copy of 6 Dimensions of Healing – Handbook here
Gayle Maree is Life Engineer, Counselor, Mother, Entrepreneur and Eternal Optimist.
She runs a healing centre Stewart Natural Health, in Australia with her husband and Natural Therapist Allan Herring and has over 20 years of Personal Development Coaching behind her.
Gayle is Director and creator of 6 Dimensions of Healing, and designs bridges for people to build to get themselves from where they are now to where they want to be. Her book 6 Dimensions of Healing – Handbook is available now.