I had a man approach me recently and start apologising profusely. He was the brother of a friend having a birthday who had recently arrived from England. He thought he had upset me the evening before as he had had a few drinks and remembered a heated discussion about differing beliefs.
I was quick to let him know that he hadn’t offended or upset me at all. In fact, I had been happy for the diverse discussion and in my opinion, it wasn’t heated but interesting.
Have you ever found yourself in a similar situation? You have a discussion with someone (and I call it a discussion because you may not agree), that you offer different views and the other person wants to agree so as not to offend. It happens way too often these days.
Do You Get Offended?
We are so worried about offending somebody that we back down from what we believe in. It’s not that you need to have a standing argument, but it would be beneficial if both parties could respect one another’s opinion. When that happens, people expand as they gain new insights and understanding. It’s never about being right or wrong, it’s about expansion.
When you are open to other people’s views and ways of thinking, the world becomes lighter. You don’t see things that others say or believe as right or wrong or a threat to your well-being, rather as interesting points of view. We will never all think the same. That’s what makes us diverse and interesting. So when we stop trying to make others happy by trying to say the ‘right’ thing, we feel lighter. When we can respect another’s opinion without feeling threatened, our energy is bolstered, our mood uplifted.
But there are also health benefits to taking yourself lightly. When you aren’t trying to push your opinion down someone’s throat (I mean persuade them), then you will find you are much more relaxed.
Be Ready To Welcome New Beliefs
I watched a television interview some years ago with a 90’s self-help guru, Stuart Wilde. He had seemingly strong beliefs on a particular topic. In fact, he had written a book on the subject. There was also another person at the lounge chair interview, who strongly did not believe Stuart Wilde’s theory. He was first to speak and he said so. He explained his reasoning and everybody listened. When the interviewer turned to Stuart Wilde and asked him what he thought about that (hoping for some good television conflict), Stuart just nodded and said, I agree.
The interviewer didn’t know what to say. It took the wind out of his sails for a bit. When he recovered he prodded Stuart Wilde and said that he had written something different in his book, so didn’t he want to argue the point? Stuart shrugged and said that was what he knew at the time. He felt the guy made sense and so he took that on as his new belief.
You see beliefs are just thoughts we think over and over. They aren’t set in concrete. They aren’t the opinion of the whole world. When you come to understand how your beliefs are formed you will realize there is more than one belief for any subject. In fact there are many.
How Do We Form Belief Patterns?
Your beliefs are adopted when you were young and they may or may not serve you. You didn’t really choose your beliefs when you were younger, you just went with what was common.
Most of us don’t even question those beliefs we’ve now had for many years until we are challenged. Yet they form a part of our personality, influence our moods and help create our reality. Beliefs are challenged when they no longer work for you. For instance, a belief passed down that being gay is wrong and then having a child of your own be homosexual. It challenges you to reassess your beliefs. The same as any thought with which we have created a pattern.
Respect Others For Their Opinions
So if you believe something, but others don’t, then respect them for that. It’s really OK. If you believe something and someone else makes better sense, then change. It’s not weak, or wrong. But just different.
It’s important to understand that the beliefs you hold either feed your soul or debilitate you. That’s why, if something else feels better or sounds better, then go for it.
Your being at peace with whatever you believe has many health benefits:
- Blood pressure doesn’t elevate
- Thoughts are creative
- Mood is uplifted
- Your Body is balanced, and not a match with disease
- Things workout for you more often
- You Enjoy Life
- Stress-free – You will feel less burdened, lighter
Feel Secure In Your Beliefs
Next time someone says something you don’t agree with, make a choice. Either take it onboard or allow them to have their belief and eat it too. When you are comfortable with your own beliefs, an opposing opinion will never threaten your well-being.
After all, you know why angels can fly don’t you? Because they take themselves lightly.
Gayle Maree is Life Engineer, Counselor, Mother, Entrepreneur and Eternal Optimist.
She runs a healing centre Stewart Natural Health, in Australia with her husband and Natural Therapist Allan Herring and has over 20 years of Personal Development Coaching behind her.
Gayle is Director and creator of 6 Dimensions of Healing, and designs bridges for people to build to get themselves from where they are now to where they want to be. Her book 6 Dimensions of Healing – Handbook is available now.